As Told By Felicia

One thing that brings me comfort is when I catch my two dogs in my daughter's room.  It makes me think that they are spending time with their baby sister, and that maybe they can sense her presence as much as I can.  Whenever I see them in here, I always snap a photo.  I thought this could be a cute ongoing photo journal of the pups hanging out with Izzy in their own way. I'll update it as I take photos.  Hopefully I have many more to come, maybe one day even with an Earthside- sibling to our angel in Heaven.  Cooper, June 25th, 2020 Molly, June 25th, 2020 Cooper, September 2nd, 2020 Cooper, September 2nd, 2020 

And you became a father one evening,  Quietly, without a sound You found your daughter and settled into her  Scooped her up and breathed her in  Your eyes fell closed and I saw your tears  And in that moment, I loved you like no other.  To my husband, on your first bittersweet Father's Day,  I know our daughter is with Jesus in Heaven and not with us here, but you are still the best Daddy I have ever seen. She is so lucky to call you her Daddy. Isabela and I love you so much. I know for a fact that she is in Heaven, bragging that you get to be hers. Today, we celebrate you.  I love you forever and ever,  Your wife 

Our daughter, Isabela Rose, was born and died on May 2nd, 2020. I went into preterm labor at 21 weeks and 5 days after a failed emergency cerclage procedure and developing an infection. I had to deliver my perfect baby girl before her body was ready to enter this world, but she was a fighter. She lived for 1 hour and 45 minutes in our arms, and her Daddy and I loved her the best we could during that time.  I started writing letters to her the day after she was born, to help me process our immense loss and grief.  "I lost my heart to you, little one, forever, for always, it's yours."  -Zoe Clark Coates June 8th, 2020 Isabela,  Mommy got a haircut today. Not important in the grand scheme of things, but pulling up to the salon for my appointment brought me back to a painful, beautiful memory: the first time I ever said "yes" to the age-old question, "do you have any kids?"  I remember it like it was yesterday. The hairstylist and I were discussing our Val...

Today is a double whammy and I am linking up with Anne for Currently and Kristen  for What's New With You. It's the first Currently/ What's New With You link-up I've done in a few months. After losing our daughter in May, getting back into my blog has been a great coping mechanism for me, especially since the majority of my recent posts have been about Isabela. This month's "Currently" prompts are all about what we are feeling, wearing, buying, craving, and discussing .   Currently, I am...  f eeling   grateful for my work family. We received an incredibly generous care package from my coworkers and supervisors the week we lost our baby girl. We received a delivery with an enormous Italian dinner to serve at least 10, the most beautiful floral arrangement, and a thoughtful card with more gift cards than we know what to do with. It was such a help, considering both of us have been home since then. I can never thank them enough for everything they have done...

Our daughter, Isabela Rose, was born and died on May 2nd, 2020. I went into preterm labor at 21 weeks and 5 days after a failed emergency cerclage procedure and developing an infection. I had to deliver my perfect baby girl before her body was ready to enter this world, but she was a fighter. She lived for 1 hour and 45 minutes in our arms, and her Daddy and I loved her the best we could during that time.  I started writing letters to her the day after she was born, to help me process our immense loss and grief.  "I lost my heart to you, little one, forever, for always, it's yours."  -Zoe Clark Coates June 2nd, 2020  My little love,  Today, you would be one month old. We would be in the throes of newborn-hood, with sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and a happy exhaustion that our baby girl was earthside. Instead, we are here without you, with empty arms, broken hearts, and you, our beautiful angel, in Heaven.  We miss you so much, honey. I know Dadd...

       Our daughter, Isabela Rose, was born and died on May 2nd, 2020. I went into preterm labor at 21 weeks and 5 days after a failed emergency cerclage procedure and developing an infection. I had to deliver my perfect baby girl before her body was ready to enter this world, but she was a fighter. She lived for 1 hour and 45 minutes in our arms, and her Daddy and I loved her the best we could during that time.  I started writing letters to her the day after she was born, to help me process our immense loss and grief.  "I lost my heart to you, little one, forever, for always, it's yours."  -Zoe Clark Coates May 27th, 2020  Hi baby girl, it's your Mommy.  Today Daddy, Cooper, Molly and I went out for the first time as a family on one of our summer day trips. We usually do a few of these every summer, where Daddy and I just pick a town to go to in our state or neighboring states, and spend the day there. This time, we decided to go to Plymouth...

Today, I woke up with my heart aching.  I tried to get dressed and start my day then just went back to bed.  I watched your last ultrasound and stared at pictures of your sweet face and cried about not getting to see you grow up.  Today I laid in bed a little bit longer, because I'm a momma who just misses her baby and I needed a minute before going about my day without you.

Our daughter, Isabela Rose, was born and died on May 2nd, 2020. I went into preterm labor at 21 weeks and 5 days after a failed emergency cerclage procedure and developing an infection. I had to deliver my perfect baby girl before her body was ready to enter this world, but she was a fighter. She lived for 1 hour and 45 minutes in our arms, and her Daddy and I loved her the best we could during that time.  I started writing letters to her the day after she was born, to help me process our immense loss and grief.  "I lost my heart to you, little one, forever, for always, it's yours."  -Zoe Clark Coates May 14th, 2020  Isabela,  I don't know if you know this, but Mommy loves to read. When I was a little girl, I read so much that sometimes your Grandma had to take away all my books so that I would do something else. Can you imagine that, an elementary student who gets punished because she reads too much? I've always been that way. I've been told I came home from ...

Happy What's Up Wednesday! I haven't done one of these in a really long time. I'm glad to be getting back in to the groove of things here on my blog. May has been a hard month. I have said this A LOT lately, but  here's a little backstory in case you haven't read any of my previous posts: we sadly lost our beautiful daughter Isabela in the beginning of the month, on May 2nd, when I went into preterm labor at only 21 weeks and 5 days. So this month has been a weird mix of grieving, healing, and taking time to reconnect with my husband. Here's a better recap of what we've been up to: What we're eating this week:  Big Mac Salad is on repeat over here for my lunches! I am also pretty obsessed with Sandy's Kitchen Mexican Beef Casserole . I make it at least once every couple weeks and eat it throughout the week. SO delicious. Other than that, we are eating lots of grilled food (chicken, burgers, veggies) with low-carb sides. What I'm reminiscing abou...

Happy Monday, y'all. I gotta be honest, with everything going on I completely forgot it was Memorial Day weekend! Here's what we got up to.  Friday was an extremely productive day. I got a ton checked off my deep cleaning to-do list, including cleaning out my toaster, deep cleaning the fridge, scrubbing down the cabinets, and taking apart and cleaning the vacuum. I also meal prepped my favorite low-carb Mexican beef casserole and cleaned my kitchen floor. Whew!  I didn't sleep well Friday night, so I slept in late Saturday morning. We had a late brunch and got back to work. Hubby worked in Isabela's room, while I tackled more off my deep cleaning to-do list. Then we worked together to hook up the fridge so we could finally have a working ice maker. By the end of that project I had to reclean my entire kitchen, from dusting to reorganizing cabinets to washing the floor. It was dinner time when we finished- we were both too pooped to cook, so we opted for Portuguese take ...

It's Friday, ya'll! Normally I would be screaming from the rooftops "TGIF!", but I'm on a short term leave from work currently so honestly, everyday feels like the weekend. But still, I always take the time to find the blessings in my everyday life. It's been so important in helping me grieve the loss of our daughter, Isabela. It feels like all these little "positives" are signs from my baby girl, and she's telling me that she's looking out for her mama. Gosh, I just love these weekly posts. So much positivity! Anywho... let's get into this week's favorites, shall we? It's surprisingly a really long one!  Pillow pad.  Ok this one is kind of stupid but I can't help it... haha. I never got to share this earlier, but back at Christmas, my husband gave me the best present ever: a Pillow Pad! It's so silly but it has become one of my new favorite things. I read on my Kindle a lot so it's so nice to have it propped up on my ...