As Told By Felicia

This link up came at the perfect time, as I just returned to work this week after taking time off from delivering and losing my baby girl in May. Its been an emotional week for me so far but I have loved putting my desk together for work. Working on my home is a passion of mine and I think my desk setup came out super cute.  My desk is in our guest bedroom. I used to have an office before we made it into a nursery. I don't  miss having that space though, and do just fine with a small desk. I love spending time in this cute little area in our home.   It is really important to me to have a minimal but beautiful workspace. I love bringing in decor pieces with wood tones, greenery, and pictures of my husband and my daughter. I also have my daughter's lamb plushie that was bought for her by my mom. It has brought me so much comfort to have something if hers with me while I'm working.  Linking up with Shay  

Baby girl, I went back to work this week.  It was a decision I needed to make, and I think it was a good one for me.  It feels horrible getting back to real life when you aren't here with me, but it has been so good to see my coworkers and the kiddos and their families that Momma gets to help everyday.  Your lamb plushie has been sitting on my desk while I work. I hug it throughout the day, just to feel close to you.  I hope you're proud of me. It has been hard and I am on a rollercoaster of emotions, but I have been pushing through. I think I am going to be okay, which makes me sad because I don't want to move on without you, but if anything, I need to be okay for you.  Momma loves you, Isabela, forever and ever.  Please keep shining down on me. 💕👼

Baby girl,  Today is August 9, 2020.  Today was supposed to be your baby shower.  The day that you would have been celebrated, anticipated, and showered with love.  I had a purple dress to wear that I felt so pretty and confident in.  It was going to be a brunch, at a beautiful lakeside restaurant.  All of Momma's close friends and family were going to be there. They would have received little succulents as party favors. And you would have gotten the cutest outfits that would have brought me so much joy to see you in.  All of the milestones that I don't get to experience with you hit me like a ton of bricks, and today I can physically feel my heart hurting.  I miss you so much, sweet girl.  I hope you get to have a beautiful baby shower in Heaven today. Because down here on Earth, I am celebrating you. Just like I do every single day.  Mommy loves you Isabela. 💕👼💕

How has it already been 3 months since I held you in my arms? Momma loves you endlessly, Isabela 💕 Do you want my grief, Please for a moment, Take it please, Hold it next to your heart, Feel it burn and tear you apart, Please I beg of you, Ease my mind, Give me sleep for just one night, Get the flashbacks, The heart stopping pangs, The helplessness from losing my way, Can you feel my grief, Hold it close, It will bring you to your knees, Your soul will yell, it will scream, Can you hear it bellow while it takes your peace, Your body aches, your mind stands still, You live in the past, where things were real, Help me friend, I ask of you, Take this grief, for a day or two Written By: Charla Norman (slightly edited by me)