As Told By Felicia

       Our daughter, Isabela Rose, was born and died on May 2nd, 2020. I went into preterm labor at 21 weeks and 5 days after a failed emergency cerclage procedure and developing an infection. I had to deliver my perfect baby girl before her body was ready to enter this world, but she was a fighter. She lived for 1 hour and 45 minutes in our arms, and her Daddy and I loved her the best we could during that time.  I started writing letters to her the day after she was born, to help me process our immense loss and grief.  "I lost my heart to you, little one, forever, for always, it's yours."  -Zoe Clark Coates May 27th, 2020  Hi baby girl, it's your Mommy.  Today Daddy, Cooper, Molly and I went out for the first time as a family on one of our summer day trips. We usually do a few of these every summer, where Daddy and I just pick a town to go to in our state or neighboring states, and spend the day there. This time, we decided to go to Plymouth...

Today, I woke up with my heart aching.  I tried to get dressed and start my day then just went back to bed.  I watched your last ultrasound and stared at pictures of your sweet face and cried about not getting to see you grow up.  Today I laid in bed a little bit longer, because I'm a momma who just misses her baby and I needed a minute before going about my day without you.

Our daughter, Isabela Rose, was born and died on May 2nd, 2020. I went into preterm labor at 21 weeks and 5 days after a failed emergency cerclage procedure and developing an infection. I had to deliver my perfect baby girl before her body was ready to enter this world, but she was a fighter. She lived for 1 hour and 45 minutes in our arms, and her Daddy and I loved her the best we could during that time.  I started writing letters to her the day after she was born, to help me process our immense loss and grief.  "I lost my heart to you, little one, forever, for always, it's yours."  -Zoe Clark Coates May 14th, 2020  Isabela,  I don't know if you know this, but Mommy loves to read. When I was a little girl, I read so much that sometimes your Grandma had to take away all my books so that I would do something else. Can you imagine that, an elementary student who gets punished because she reads too much? I've always been that way. I've been told I came home from ...

Happy What's Up Wednesday! I haven't done one of these in a really long time. I'm glad to be getting back in to the groove of things here on my blog. May has been a hard month. I have said this A LOT lately, but  here's a little backstory in case you haven't read any of my previous posts: we sadly lost our beautiful daughter Isabela in the beginning of the month, on May 2nd, when I went into preterm labor at only 21 weeks and 5 days. So this month has been a weird mix of grieving, healing, and taking time to reconnect with my husband. Here's a better recap of what we've been up to: What we're eating this week:  Big Mac Salad is on repeat over here for my lunches! I am also pretty obsessed with Sandy's Kitchen Mexican Beef Casserole . I make it at least once every couple weeks and eat it throughout the week. SO delicious. Other than that, we are eating lots of grilled food (chicken, burgers, veggies) with low-carb sides. What I'm reminiscing abou...

Happy Monday, y'all. I gotta be honest, with everything going on I completely forgot it was Memorial Day weekend! Here's what we got up to.  Friday was an extremely productive day. I got a ton checked off my deep cleaning to-do list, including cleaning out my toaster, deep cleaning the fridge, scrubbing down the cabinets, and taking apart and cleaning the vacuum. I also meal prepped my favorite low-carb Mexican beef casserole and cleaned my kitchen floor. Whew!  I didn't sleep well Friday night, so I slept in late Saturday morning. We had a late brunch and got back to work. Hubby worked in Isabela's room, while I tackled more off my deep cleaning to-do list. Then we worked together to hook up the fridge so we could finally have a working ice maker. By the end of that project I had to reclean my entire kitchen, from dusting to reorganizing cabinets to washing the floor. It was dinner time when we finished- we were both too pooped to cook, so we opted for Portuguese take ...

It's Friday, ya'll! Normally I would be screaming from the rooftops "TGIF!", but I'm on a short term leave from work currently so honestly, everyday feels like the weekend. But still, I always take the time to find the blessings in my everyday life. It's been so important in helping me grieve the loss of our daughter, Isabela. It feels like all these little "positives" are signs from my baby girl, and she's telling me that she's looking out for her mama. Gosh, I just love these weekly posts. So much positivity! Anywho... let's get into this week's favorites, shall we? It's surprisingly a really long one!  Pillow pad.  Ok this one is kind of stupid but I can't help it... haha. I never got to share this earlier, but back at Christmas, my husband gave me the best present ever: a Pillow Pad! It's so silly but it has become one of my new favorite things. I read on my Kindle a lot so it's so nice to have it propped up on my ...

Linking up with Dani  and Michael today for their Three on Thursday link-up! I love link-ups that have prompts. It's a cool way to find out more about the bloggers you read and engage with that you might not have otherwise ever discovered.  Three Creature Comforts: reruns of NCIS, rewatching favorite (and cheesy) movies [Burlesque, Mamma Mia!, The Holiday], my morning coffee Three Comfort Foods: mac and cheese, chicken tenders, turkey club  I had the Honey Chipotle Crispers from Chili's this week. Yum. Three New Recipes Attempted: one entree and a couple desserts- breaded buffalo chicken (recipe adapted/ recreated from HelloFresh ), apple pie, Molotof  Molotof Three Things Entertaining Me Right Now: blogging, working on our daughter's room, window shopping online for home decor Three Shows or Movies Recently Watched: Bad Mom's Christmas, Manifest, The Movies That Made Us Top Three Songs Played: anything by Luke Combs; God, Your Mama, and Me by Florida Georgia L...

Our daughter, Isabela Rose, was born and died on May 2nd, 2020. I went into preterm labor at 21 weeks and 5 days after a failed emergency cerclage procedure and developing an infection. I had to deliver my perfect baby girl before her body was ready to enter this world, but she was a fighter. She lived for 1 hour and 45 minutes in our arms, and her Daddy and I loved her the best we could during that time.  I started writing letters to her the day after she was born, to help me process our immense loss and grief.  "I lost my heart to you, little one, forever, for always, it's yours."  -Zoe Clark Coates May 14th, 2020 Isabela,  Last night Daddy and I met up with our friends. It was the first time we've socialized out of the house since having to say goodbye to you. The whole day, I felt sick to my stomach, and especially when getting ready and driving there. Why did I deserve to go out and see friends? It felt so wrong. We met up at a Dunkin' and talked for a few ho...

I started this post in the beginning of my pregnancy. We have since lost our sweet daughter Isabela Rose to preterm labor on May 2nd, 2020. So now instead of a post looking back, this is more of a memorial to our daughter. Some of these photos are from my Instagram account, and I included the captions that I wrote under the photos. Writing this post was a labor of love, and very emotional to finish. I hope I look back on this fondly, and that it is a reminder of all the wonderful memories we had with our sweet girl.  We found out I was pregnant at only 4 weeks. I had been feeling off, but had already tested that cycle with a negative test. I was heartbroken and guarded. My husband noticed I wasn't feeling like myself, and he convinced me to test again anyway. I quickly did it and moved along, getting ready for the day. We were taking my godson to Disney on Ice in a few hours. A few minutes later, my husband walked over to me. He showed me the test and to my complete shock and disbe...