Dear Isabela | Today, you would be 1 month old.

Our daughter, Isabela Rose, was born and died on May 2nd, 2020. I went into preterm labor at 21 weeks and 5 days after a failed emergency cerclage procedure and developing an infection. I had to deliver my perfect baby girl before her body was ready to enter this world, but she was a fighter. She lived for 1 hour and 45 minutes in our arms, and her Daddy and I loved her the best we could during that time. I started writing letters to her the day after she was born, to help me process our immense loss and grief. 

"I lost my heart to you, little one, forever, for always, it's yours." 

-Zoe Clark Coates

June 2nd, 2020 

My little love, 

Today, you would be one month old. We would be in the throes of newborn-hood, with sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and a happy exhaustion that our baby girl was earthside. Instead, we are here without you, with empty arms, broken hearts, and you, our beautiful angel, in Heaven. 

We miss you so much, honey. I know Daddy never got to feel you kicking, but I know he misses sensing your presence in our family. And so do I. Because you are still our daughter, no matter where you are. 

Baby girl, I hope you are doing okay. I hope you are happy and not suffering. I hope you are making friends in Heaven, and have good company. I hope you have met all our amazing family members and especially all our grandparents that have also gone to Heaven. They will help take such good care of you until we can meet again. I hope you are watching over us and are proud of us. We will never stop trying to make you proud. We love you so, so, so, SO much, and we will for the rest of our lives and beyond. We can't wait to see you again, baby, and hold you in our arms once more.

We love you, Isabela Rose- forever and ever, to Jupiter and back. "I exist in two places; here and where you are." 

Love, 

Mommy