Currently | June 2020

Today is a double whammy and I am linking up with Anne for Currently and Kristen for What's New With You. It's the first Currently/ What's New With You link-up I've done in a few months. After losing our daughter in May, getting back into my blog has been a great coping mechanism for me, especially since the majority of my recent posts have been about Isabela. This month's "Currently" prompts are all about what we are feeling, wearing, buying, craving, and discussing.  

Currently, I am... 

feeling grateful for my work family. We received an incredibly generous care package from my coworkers and supervisors the week we lost our baby girl. We received a delivery with an enormous Italian dinner to serve at least 10, the most beautiful floral arrangement, and a thoughtful card with more gift cards than we know what to do with. It was such a help, considering both of us have been home since then. I can never thank them enough for everything they have done for us. 

wearing actual clothes. I have been trying really, really hard to get dressed in the morning and not just stay in pjs or sweats all day. During this time processing my grief, it's honestly a good day if I get up by 11 am-12 pm. But even if I struggle to get out of bed and don't get up until the early afternoon, I still try to make an effort to shower and get dressed. It just makes me feel better. Plus, it gives me an excuse to wear actual clothes like jeans and cute tops during these crazy self-quarantining times.

buying bits and pieces for my baby girl's room. After we lost her last month, we decided to finish working on her room together. She deserves at least that much. The same week she went to Heaven, all her furniture came in. Two weeks later, we went to Home Depot to purchase the shiplap planks that we put on the wall behind her crib. We have since completed her accent wall and are painting the other walls next. And my next big purchases are going to be a mirror, shelves, and angel wings to put above her bed. I think she will love it.

craving Mexican food. That's not new, though! After Target, a Mexican restaurant is the first place I'm going when it's safe to do so- I'm thinking either Frontera Grille or El Mariachi. For now, I am making it at home the best I can. It's still not the same, though!

discussing... vacation dreams and schemes. My husband and I have been talking about some vacation spots we would like to go when it is safe. I really want to go somewhere warm, with a white sandy beach. I would love to visit Key West, St. Augustine, Sarasota, or Destin- all spots in Florida with beautiful scenery. I haven't been down that way in almost 15 years. 

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What else is new... 

This month on my blog, I have talked a lot about our daughter, Isabela, who we sadly lost on May 2nd when I went into preterm labor at 21 weeks & 5 days. That said, May has been a really hard month for us. My blog has been a super helpful outlet for me in my grieving process, and a lot of my recent posts have been about Isabela, the letters I have written to her, my grieving process, and life after baby loss. 

Since getting discharged from the hospital and being home, we have been finishing her bedroom (it was half done when she was born, and her furniture came in a few days after she passed). We've also been planning her memorial service while trying to resume life as "normal". It has honestly been a lot to balance; I feel guilty catching up with friends or even having a laugh with my husband. Nighttime and mornings are the hardest for me. I have to say, though, I feel like my marriage is stronger than ever. We are each others' rocks and strive everyday to support, love, and communicate with each other. I am so grateful and blessed to have my amazing other half. 

My husband and I have been taking some time off work after everything happened. Val goes back to work this weekend, and I am due back on the 14th. I'm not sure I'm ready to face the real world. I know my company would be more than willing to give me more time off if I needed it. I still have almost 3 weeks of vacation that I haven't taken this year, but I'm thinking of saving it for an actual trip, whenever it is safe to take one. Anyway, it might be good for me to have a distraction- at the same time, I can't imagine having to face the families/ kids I work with, since they are aware about our loss. I know it's going to be so difficult and emotional getting back into the swing of things and moving on without her. I don't know. I guess there's no use in thinking too far ahead in the future. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. 

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My favorite blog posts this month... 

Throughout May, I posted a few cool things on the blog that I'm really proud of. I shared my pregnancy photo journal that I started at around 5 weeks pregnant and finally completed 2 weeks after we lost Isabela. It was cathartic yet emotional for me to finish. I included every single bump photo I took and included as many details about my amazing pregnancy that I could remember. I loved being pregnant with our sweet girl, and I'm glad I have so many photos from along the way.

I wrote a few Friday Favorites posts- I talked about a sweet gesture from the hospital, my amazing work family, and supportive family members (post here). I shared all about my new favorite reading accessory, some gifts I received via happy mail, new decor, lazy coffee faves, and signs from my baby girl (post here). 

I got back into link-ups, my favorite part of blogging! I participated in Dani and Michael's fun Three on Thursday link-up, which you can find here. I love link-ups with prompts! I finally did another What's Up Wednesday (post here), which is probably really similar to this post, to be honest. But still fun to write and read! 

I also got back into recording and recapping our weekends. We worked on our daughter's room, had a bonfire, grilled burgers and had some quality family time (post). We had a super productive (and almost forgotten about!) Memorial Day weekend, which we spent being busy with home projects and having a socially distant cookout with my family (post). 

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I hope everyone had a great month. On to June! 

Linking up with Anne and Kristen.