Unexpected...

This was not how I pictured my motherhood. 

I didn't expect to have an empty nursery. 

I didn't expect to have a play gym without a baby to play under it. 

I didn't expect to have blankets without a baby to keep warm. 

I didn't expect to have a rocking chair without a baby to rock to sleep. 

After years of yearning and heartbreak and a short time of pure bliss, this was not how I pictured I would be a mother. 

And that hurts more than you can imagine.