Pregnancy photo journal 0-21 weeks // In Loving Memory of Isabela Rose // "If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."

I started this post in the beginning of my pregnancy. We have since lost our sweet daughter Isabela Rose to preterm labor on May 2nd, 2020. So now instead of a post looking back, this is more of a memorial to our daughter. Some of these photos are from my Instagram account, and I included the captions that I wrote under the photos. Writing this post was a labor of love, and very emotional to finish. I hope I look back on this fondly, and that it is a reminder of all the wonderful memories we had with our sweet girl. 

We found out I was pregnant at only 4 weeks. I had been feeling off, but had already tested that cycle with a negative test. I was heartbroken and guarded. My husband noticed I wasn't feeling like myself, and he convinced me to test again anyway. I quickly did it and moved along, getting ready for the day. We were taking my godson to Disney on Ice in a few hours. A few minutes later, my husband walked over to me. He showed me the test and to my complete shock and disbelief, it was positive! My knees grew weak and I fell to the floor. I couldn't stand for almost 20 minutes haha. And on top of that- I couldn't believe that my husband told ME that we were expecting. I had dreamed up SO many cute ideas in my head for telling him when we finally had our turn-- I had a whole Pinterest board of them! It's a funny story that I will always tell people. 

I ended up taking 2 more tests the following days after testing positive. 
I couldn't believe how lucky we were! We were finally becoming parents!

We decided to keep the baby to ourselves until we got confirmation from the doctor. Those few weeks are a time that I will always treasure. It was just me, my hubby, and our baby. We schemed and dreamed so much and spoke in hushed tones all about our little love. Finally, we went to our first ultrasound and there she was, content as could be. We told our families and close friends that weekend first before announcing to social media. 

Because I can't help myself, of course I had to enlist our dog Cooper to help announce my pregnancy with the cutest picture ever. I know it was really early, but we couldn't wait. We had been preparing to start fertility treatments when we miraculously got pregnant on our own. Isabela was our miracle and I wanted to celebrate her as much as we could, for as long as possible. We had never been happier and I just wanted to share that with everyone. After going through years of infertility, I had become very depressed. Our daughter brought me back to life. My husband was constantly grinning from ear to ear. His hands were always on my belly and he would talk to our baby every night. We couldn't wait to finally be Mommy and Daddy. God had finally answered our prayers. We posted the photo and I couldn't be happier with how it turned out. My perfect boy was such a good sport during the photoshoot! 

"For this child, we have prayed, and the Lord has granted us the desires of 

our heart." -1 Samuel 1:27

We feel so blessed and unbelievably happy that we get to share some 

wonderful news with all our family and friends- we are expecting our 

first little bundle of joy! We are so excited to finally be parents. September 

can't come soon enough. ❤ We can't wait to meet you, little  one. Mommy 

& Daddy (& Cooper, too) prayed for you, for so long. You are already so 

incredibly loved. ❤

The first trimester, I was really sick but feeling very blessed. I took my first bump picture at 13 weeks. I remember feeling really self-conscious that because I was a big girl, my bump wouldn't show. Well boy was I wrong. Baby girl definitely made it known that she was in there, especially at night after I ate dinner. After 13 weeks, I tried to take pictures every week. I didn't want to look back on my pregnancy and not have photos. I wanted to show my baby girl in the future what her Mama looked like when I was growing her. I loved and embraced my changing body and felt so beautiful and confident- not to mention proud that my body was growing the most important little human in my life. 

My first bump photo. I was 13 weeks. 

14 week "bumpdate", if you will. 

Bumpin' into 15 weeks ❤ so grateful.

My favorite bump photo ever. 

Baby girl was an absolute wild woman last night/
early this morning and I woke up in the best mood
after feeling her wiggle around in my belly for a few
hours. Feeling so blessed, I still can't believe this
is my life. 💕💕💕

Baby girl's quarantine wardrobe included The Golden
Girls t-shirts. We had just started on her room when I
snapped this photo.

Easter Sunday. I had to have surgery (cervical cerclage)
3 days later. I more than anything wish I could go back
to this day. 

20 weeks, recovering from my cerclage surgery
in my husband's huge t-shirts. I was so hopeful. 

[MY LAST BUMP PHOTO, EVER. JUST LOOKING
AT IT MAKES MY HEART HURT.]
We made it to 21 weeks, baby girl. I can't even begin to describe
how thankful we are to have made it this far. I feel your kicks when
I need them the most these days, it seems, and it is so reassuring.
Almost like you're talking me down & letting me know that you're
still in there, still growing and dancing. Although, Mama would
appreciate it if you moved up a little bit... it feels like you're trying
to kick your way out of there and we already had a talk that you're
not allowed earthside until at least August! We only have 3 more
weeks until viability and I am counting down the minutes until
then. We got this, my little love. Please, please, please just keep
cooking in there. 💕🙏🤞💕

Around 10 weeks, I started with the cravings... And boy did I have so many! I had heard of pregnant women having one or two really strong cravings, but mine seemed to come in phases... and I had a TON: Pringles and strawberry lemonade, TOGETHER- don't ask me why!; Wendy's Parmesan Cesar Salad, with the spicy chicken and Ranch dressing instead of Cesar; chocolate... and lots of it!; Totino's pizza rolls... apparently, I ate like a 5 year old; Portuguese rolls with butter and Sao Jorge cheese (baby girl went NUTS and danced so much after I ate this); and my last craving before delivering my sweet girl- cornbread, specifically from the Stop & Shop bakery. SO GOOD.  

 At around 12 weeks, I did genetic testing through bloodwork, and that bloodwork also determined the gender early. We asked the doctor to put the gender in an envelope and we planned a party for our family and friends, for all of us to find out the gender together. We brought the envelope to our favorite bakery and ordered a cake that would have either pink or blue frosting in the cake. Then COVID-19 happened and everyone self-quarantined for safety and we had to cancel our party. We decided to keep the cake, cut it open together, film it, and do a photo series instead. We video called our family and friends after to show them the cake frosting. Our theme, since my husband is into cars and is a mechanic, was "Burnouts or Bows". I found cute decorations on Etsy to hang so we decided to not put those to waste and ended up using them as props in our photos. 

We found out we were having a baby girl! "Bows" it is! We were so excited. I just knew baby would have her Daddy wrapped around her little finger. I couldn't wait to see my sweet hubby as a "girl dad". We decided to name her Isabela Rose on this day, and we were over the moon that we were having a baby GIRL come September.

In March, we adopted my sister-in-law's dog and Molly became a part of our family. Cooper was beyond excited to have her come live with us. They are both super cuddly and love to be lap dogs. So naturally, every time Cooper and Molly cuddled with their baby sister, I snapped a picture. They were so cute with my growing bump. On several occasions they would lay their heads on my belly and nap. It was so sweet and warmed my heart. They definitely knew something was up with their mama and were welcoming baby Isabela with open arms... or in their case, open paws.

Easter Sunday made 19 weeks of growing my little love. I was so thankful for her that day, and how she had kept me sane through staying home and social distancing by CONSTANTLY moving and dancing in my belly. This was the last picture I have of my bump before everything went terribly wrong, and I am forever grateful that I captured this sweet, peaceful moment with my baby.

Just documenting that I am wearing real pants today for the first time in God knows
how long 🤷‍♀️ Today makes 19 weeks of growing our little one, & baby girl is really
moving and grooving in there. It's basically the best feeling ever. 😊 I have so much
to be thankful for this Easter- my amazing hubby, 2 adorable pups, a comfy, safe home
and our little bunny who will finally make her appearance in September 💕💕 Happy
Easter, everyone. Hope you all have a great day 💕

21 weeks & 5 days. That is how long we got to love you here on Earth, baby girl. Now, for the rest of our lives and beyond, we will get to love you in Heaven. You made me and Daddy the happiest we have ever been. I loved being pregnant with you, every minute of every day. I loved feeling you move and dance in my belly. I have never felt so close to another person before. What's that saying? "No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside." No quote has ever rang more true.

IN LOVING MEMORY OF ISABELA ROSE

MAY 2nd, 2020, 11:38 AM, 1 pound & 1 ounce

"If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."