Our Sweet Isabela Rose // May 2nd, 2020 // Our hearts are forever broken

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This is the hardest thing I've ever had to write.

"If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."

On May 2nd, 2020, our beautiful baby girl was born too soon and went to Heaven. Isabela Rose arrived at 11:38 AM, and she was so perfect. She had my nose and my husband's long fingers and big feet. She lived for 1 hour and 45 minutes in the arms of the two people who loved her more than anything in this world.

I am still in shock that this happened. I will eventually get into details but right now I am heartbroken and trying to deal with my grief. I have been writing letters to my daughter daily but I still feel so broken and empty. I can't picture our life without her. My saving grace has been my husband, who has been my rock throughout this experience. I am so blessed to have him. My mom has been such an immense support to us as well and for that I will always be grateful.

I had been drafting a pregnancy photo journal documenting the first 19 weeks of my pregnancy with our daughter. I think I am still going to post it, along with the letters I have been writing to her. I think it will be a small comfort to celebrate her in any way that I can, and the photos I took of my bump will forever be treasured by us.


Our sweet Isabela Rose,
Mommy and Daddy love you so, so, SO much. You were our miracle baby; after years of wanting to be a mommy and daddy, you gave us that precious gift for a short while. We miss you so much and it hurts being here without you. Every day that passes is another day closer to seeing you again. Our lives are forever changed, with spaces in our hearts that will always belong to you, little love. As long as we're living, our baby you'll be.
Love,
Mommy

Comments

  1. Confuzzled BevMay 13, 2020 at 3:36 AM

    I'm so sorry. What absolutely devastating news. Sending you all the love I can.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LaurenMay 13, 2020 at 7:47 AM

    I love you so much... I don't know what else to say right now, because "I'm so sorry" will never feel like enough. Just know my heart and thoughts are with both of you, all day, every day. 💔

    ReplyDelete
  3. The FlynnigansMay 16, 2020 at 11:58 AM

    Oh honey.. I am so sorry. Heartbreaking and devastating. I’m so sorry love.... thinking of you and sending hugs xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. StephTheBookwormJune 17, 2020 at 12:27 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. She looks absolutely beautiful, and she for sure has your nose.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Becca @ The Earthling's HandbookJuly 26, 2020 at 12:52 PM

    I was just reading your book reviews and saw mention of losing your daughter and clicked over to find the story. I am so, so sorry you went through this! When I experienced the death of an embryo at only 7 weeks, I was amazed at how deeply and how long it affected my feelings and my whole reality both mentally and physically. (It's the middle part of this story if you're interested.)

    Although I think it would have been possible to heal without having another baby, I did have another who is now an adorable and feisty six-year-old. I sometimes still think about what if I had a seven-and-a-half-year-old, too...but getting to know this particular child and being involved in her life has helped a LOT with the feeling that something is missing from my life. I hope that one day you'll have another baby and all the joys of motherhood! Meanwhile, more time to read. :-)

    ReplyDelete

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